I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Randomize
