I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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