people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
