if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
