the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
