i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
