its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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