I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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