I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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