too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
