Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
