You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you will always have a special place in my vag
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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