Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
