So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
