someone threw a dead crab at me
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
