i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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