hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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