You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
