is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
