I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
