are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
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