Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
