NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize