Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize