ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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