he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
