I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Even my vagina gasped.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
