I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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