Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
