We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
