please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
