Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Oh god it's open bar.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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