At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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