She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You're like the curious george of whores
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
