all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
