I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You can't just leave with hair like that
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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