she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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