It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
