I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
