shes about as inviting as chlamydia
that's an acceptable place to lick
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
