It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
