I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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