what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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