i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
