Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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