Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
