somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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