I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
