I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Welp...herpes.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
