5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Randomize