i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
