I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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