it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
