I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
