guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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