Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I got inside last night via doggy door
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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