I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
