I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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