life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
