hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
