I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
