god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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